Saturday, March 30, 2013

You Can't Fool Mother Nature

Method walked the green path tightly guarded by the flora planted thickly on either side. Today was the day he was going to wonder past the edge. Today was… “oh hell with it” he said under his breath and turned to go back to his home.
Morris the Pidgit was there standing with his arms wide doing his best to look intimidating and bigger than the twelve inches if he stands on his toes height.
“No, no hell. You going this time, Master says hes going and Pidgit make master’s command true.”
“Thank you for your concern Pidgit, but I’m just not ready”
“When then? Master say he’s going.”
“Not today.”
“Parents say you old enough.”
“My parents have never been outside either. They were mere sprigs themselves when they landed on this world. How am I supposed to know what I’m supposed to do?”
“Pidget knows you walk, and the green ends and you go to hard ground were the fast things are.”
“The fast things. Do you ever listen to yourself.”
“Pidget is programmed to speak this way.”
“Fine save program, I’m going to try a fix.”
“ohhh Pidget isn’t likeing this.”
“I’ve gotten better. You didn’t actually die last time.”
“Should have.”
Pidget squeaked and popped a glowing red ball from it’s head and put it in his navel
Method bent down, waved his hand over the shaking creature and stood up. “okay, speak.”
The creature yapped and panted like a dog.
“Oh crap.”
“Kidding, just kidding.”
“That’s new.”
“You are right sir, I’m feeling a little more, mmm what ‘s the word.”
“Ooo, I like that. Snarky”
“Well keep the back up and we’ll see if I like it later. I do like the pronouns”
“Pidget does too.” It raised it’s eyebrows and gave a wink.
“what have I done?” Method asked himself. As he started to head back to the house.
“No, no.” Pidget bounced in front of his master and again looked like he was trying to be intimidating.
“Your parent’s said you needed to go.”
“Because,” the gentle voice of his mother emerged from behind him, “you have work to do.”
“work yeah, what kind of work.”
“Boot, and Lyla have gone into the world and they need to come back.”
“Boot and Lyla quit.”
“They should never have developed sentience.”
“They were slaves that we programmed as we saw fit.”
“You are so much like these beings on this planet, the humans.”
“Well I’ve watched a lot of Television, Which by the way you sent Boot out to get.”
“Fine, What happens if they tell the world of us.”
“The damn TV is on all the time, what do you think.”
“Oh, master shouldn’t talk to his mom like that.”
“Did you program Pidget?”
“Well it was.”
“Hypocryte. You have lived nearly 100 of these earth cycles Your father and I have rooted and cannot leave but you refused to stay still. Now you are the one who needs to go.”
Method looked at her and took off his shoes.
“Pidget, stop him.”
“What can I do?”
Method felt the earth. It had always called to him. He’d some day have to root. All his kind did it.
“Kidding.” He turned and looked at Pidget. Can I take Pidget?
“If he desires.”
“What!” he yelled and did a back flip. “For so long I have wanted to go. Oh thank you Mistress.”
“Okay try to look like a monkey.”
“Will do Boss.” And jumped on Methods shoulders.
“Mother I will try to return with Boot and Lyla”
“Go my son and have a life.”
They walked to the end of the path. The shrubs merging behind them. Some cars zoomed past and Pidget pointed a direction and they headed that way.
Purpose watched her son leave, she wished she could uproot and travel with him, She was going to miss him. Then she saw Pidget juggling three small balls. Putting one after another in Method’s head. Pidget was programming him.

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