Tuesday, March 10, 2015

It's just a show I watch

“What the hell is your problem?” Kelly yelled 

“Don’t let the door slam” Jeffery said nearly dropping the packages he held.

“Who cares about the door. Why are you being such a dick?”

“How am I being a dick?”

“I went out of my way, I worked for weeks to put that party together.”

“I said thank you. Help me with these.”


“Kelly I can’t even see the table.”

“Fuck you.”

Jeffery looked at her between the handles of a gift bag and let go. The bags and gifts landed with a crash of breaking glass.

“What the hell?” She yelled again. 

“I asked for your help you told me to fuck off so fuck you.”

“God you are such a child.”

“I got the message, or did you mean something else by throwing me a power ranger party.”


“No I don’t. I like watching the second stupidest show on earth, its funny. I don’t Love it. You threw that party to embarrass and shame me for something I do that doesn’t require fermented hops” 

“I wanted to make it something you liked.”

“I know you believe that but then why didn’t you dub me a Bronie, I occasionally watch Friendship is Magic?”

“You are not gay.”
“Really? That’s your reasoning I’m not gay so I can’t be a Bronie? I knew you to be callus but a homophobe?”

“You don’t give a shit about anybody but you do you?” Kelly accused

“Don’t put this back on me. I was embarrassed but I didn’t say anything, I did my best to keep smiling.”

“You told Dave the party was idiotic.”

“I was wrong.”

“That’s supposed to make it better, you telling me you were wrong?”

“No, I was wrong to think Dave would keep his mouth shut.”
Kelly pushed Marvin away from the whiskey that was coming from a broken bottle somewhere in the pile of gifts on the floor.

“That was the only good gift of the bunch.” Jeffery chinned at the puddle on the floor, “and the cat gets to enjoy it more than I do.”

“You don’t even drink.”

“yes but it was the only one that realized that I was a grown man.”

“You said you didn’t care that you knew people knew you watched The Power Rangers”

“I don’t, but you just made them believe it was my obsession or some passion.”

“It isn’t?”

“NO!” He put his hands on his face and growled. “I watch it after a tough day dealing with fucking red tape and emotional and angry people. Do you know how many kids get lost in the system? How many are treated as animals? Marvin is treated better than they are. People, good people want to adopt them but can’t because a cousin is in jail or some dumb shit like that. There is no reason behind most of the rules. Good kids with so much potential are going into gangs and crime because they can’t believe that this world will work for them. Of course I watch the power rangers. The good and bad guys are easy to identify and everyone is kind.”

“Then why were you such a dick at the party?”

“How was I a dick?”

“You were rude. You gave all the gifts looks.”

“Looks? What kind of looks?”

“Like the smelled bad.”
“Well I’m sorry, I tried to be kind.”

“Carrie was hurt.”

“Carrie needs to see a therapist.” 

“She’s my cousin.”

“And that changes anything?”

“She gave you a full set.”

“No she gave me five colors Three from R.PM. one from Nija storm, which I’ll admit is 
impressive, and one that looked like it was some dollar store knock off.”

“She tried and you just had to tell her it was wrong.”

“She got a transforming robot.”

“It looked like the others.”

“It was a robot, and it was orange. I won’t get into how wrong that is.”

“See you do care, you just wanted to be a dick.”

“Yes I care, if I didn’t I wouldn’t watch it. I by no means like it enough to want toys or for others to think I’m obsessed”

“You keep saying you don’t care but now that I’ve tried to give you something it all of a sudden matters what people think?”

“It’s always mattered how people treat me. I’m like everyone else, I want them to like me for me you gave them something to hold over my head and from now on I’m going to be the guy who likes Power Rangers”

“I don’t get what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, if I liked Power Rangers.”

“But you just said you do.”

“Fine I’ll make sure I’ll throw you a big bang party, tell them that it’s the only show you watch.”

“I like Big Bang Theory.”

“But are you obsessed?”

“Of course not.”

“It’s all you watch. you have action figures and all the tees that Sheldon wears.”

“I do not.”

“Until tonight I didn’t have a single Power Ranger anything.”

“You had that sticker.”

“A sticker, that’s all, A sticker put in a gift as a Joke by a friend who thought it would be funny.”

“you kept it.”

“I kept the joke, the gesture of friendship.”

“I can’t do this you aren’t making any sense. I think you are just being an ass.”

“Fine. Thank you for the party and for helping me to realize that I’m just a joke to you. I think I’ll let you clean up the mess and sleep on the couch It’s my birthday and I’m just a child after all.”

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